fuzzy boundaries

I’ve always wondered if I’m especially susceptible, but novels/movies/music leave me a bit dazed Today, for instance, I turned from my novel to my physio text, and discovered, a few paragraphs in, that I was mentally turning everything about The Defense of Tonicity into the past tense, to match it.

I find myself aping the writer’s style :Salinger’s is a particularly insidious influence, and I know that I over-italicise every time I finish a reading of the glass books; after watching TV, I come away sometimes convinced that I’m about to discover the edge of the world or confused by fears of being haunted by the ghost from the movie. This is not to say that I have an overwrought imagination, or that I’m unusually able to empathise, but I am a little worried about my lack of ability to transition out of imaginary worlds. Perhaps this is mundane, something about the power of fiction; but I do find it a little disturbing that new worlds, fully formed, should be so palpable.

My earliest memory of this happening, is when I came home from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and tried to take the stairs at a single go. I cannot remember how I stopped myself mid-leap, but I do know I didn’t end up in a heap on the first landing: what I can remember is being rather confused that I couldn’t. is this normal?

this blog was started as something we hoped would be a collective thing, something that would last: we were fresh interns, very enthu about the prospect of ramanathapuram. amid the flurry of photography, cooking experimentation and graffitising that we took to be the essence of live at jirhc, we thought this was the time to set up a blog, to record our experiences. in the hope that it would be read.

what can i say? the plan failed. and the only reminder of it's former existence is this blog page, registered in my name and unused for close to a year now.

"unbalanced, deranged" was meant to be a pun: the range at rhc was (is) notoriously iffy, and it was usual practice to pick up your ringing phone and run: out of the hostel building, or for preference, up onto the water tank. for those of us with a 'phone fixation, that climb was something that we got more and more used to. :-). and in spite of getting a stipend for the first time, there has never been a time in my internship when the end of the month did not see the balance on my phone fall to the extent that i could not send messages, much less call. hence unbalanced. which i've decided could as easily be a descriptor for myself (my classmates will testify that i'm unbalanced in more ways than one) as for ramnath.

i've never made use of this blog because, apart from a tendency to procrastinate (which is what killed the ramnath blog in the first place) i've never thought i had anything to say. i still don't think i do. so i foresee either a gradual death, or a degeneration into meaningless ramblings. watch this space to find out which.

the end of this month will make it a year since i was last at ramnath. it was fun.